Dear
Normal,
This book
is for you. As I’ve cried over these pages and through these memories, I’ve
been thinking of you. You--the one who is ‘normal’ just like me. I have prayed
over each page, praying it will bless YOU. Because, Normal, not only are you
‘normal’ just like me, YOU ARE AN EXTRAORDINARY MASTERPIECE. But Don’t
take my word for it. I’m not the one who made you, or the one
who called you masterpiece. The God of the Universe says you are (Ephesians
2:10), and I’m acknowledging it now.
I
know that, like me, you will have days where you doubt that. Where you feel
less like a masterpiece and more like a mastermess. You’ll have days like me
where you forget your worth. You’ll have days where you struggle not to base
your worth on your works—which is hard to do when seemingly everyone around you
is doing just that.
Like
me, you will probably have days where you forget important things, feel awful
because you don’t make enough money, get mad because you’re behind on bills,
you’ll realize you spent money on ice cream when you actually ended up needing
it for gas, you’ll sleep in too late, and get nothing done, you’ll put off
dishes for days…and have a spur of the moment guest, and you’ll beat yourself
up for being a procrastinator…
I’m
sure you’ll encounter these things, or something similar, because, lucky you,
YOU’RE NORMAL.
For the longest time I hated being normal. I
had this ideal, this warped way of thinking, that being normal was a bad thing.
I needed to be ABOVE normal…I needed to strive for perfection. But every single
time I fell short, I beat myself up, and I fell into a spiraling chasm of
depression and self-loathing. Believe me, it happened. Over. and over. and
over. Ask my friends. Ask my family. Ask my counselor. Ask any one
who paid attention to me, or sat down long enough to listen to me. And though the victory is won in the end by Christ, my biggest battle ground is depression. Depression in the form of insecurity, depression in the form
of inadequacy, depression in the form of ‘wow, I’m stupid.’ And when I say
battle I mean battle. Somedays It is a bloody confrontation, a fight
for me to gain ground, and a push to get back up when I get knocked down. It's
HARD. And it's something I have a choice to overcome every day. Somedays I do, others I don't. But I always get back up. I have to. Because, like you, Normal, I have breath, I have a pulse, therefore I have purpose. Purpose given to me, designed for me--with me in mind--by the Creator of the Universe--and Creator of you and of me. We each have purpose, and your purpose has an enemy that will do ANYTHING to keep you from fulfilling your specific purpose--which is why these battles take place.
And maybe
depression isn't your battle. Maybe it's an addiction--to drugs, to porn, to
approval. Maybe it's that you're a workaholic. Maybe your marriage is falling
apart. Maybe you're not the parent you want to be. Maybe you're just tired, and
run down. Maybe it's your weight. Maybe it's none of these, or some of these, or even all of
these every day...or alternating days. But I want you to know something, no. I
NEED you to know something--YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE!
I cannot
speak to your specific story, and I may not be able to fix your problems, or
win the battle for you. Believe me, I wish I could. I know I cannot do much,
but what I CAN do is this: I can share out of my own experiences as a daughter,
a girlfriend, a best friend, an awful friend, a disappointed person, a
disappointment, an overcomer, an approval-holic, an employee, jobless, a
whiner, an encourager, a writer, as a pretty average being, as a person.
I cannot promise this book will be organized--because it won't be. It is a scrambled mess of thoughts and actions and reactions; responses, and experiences because THAT'S WHAT NORMAL LIFE IS--a scrambled, unpredictable mess that ultimately creates a beautiful work of art. I cannot
promise that everything I say is 100% accurate. I cannot promise that
everything I say is unoffensive, or easy to understand. I cannot promise that
everything I say will apply to you, or help you in any way, but what I can
promise is this: I promise to be honest, to be real, to be raw. I promise that
I will hold very little back (and trust me...I'm doing that for you, because I
can't subject you to all of my awesomeness...this world could not handle
it;P)
I
cannot promise that this book will change your life, but I promise that I'm
praying it will. I promise that every word that goes into this is in hopes that
one person will find hope in these words. That one person would find joy in
what I've said. That one person will make it one more day. That one person will
learn something. That one person will come to know God. That ONE person may be
able to stand up and walk forward, a little prouder to be human--to be normal. Knowing
they are not alone, and don't have to do it on their own. There is nothing
wrong with them, it's just this disease we all have called "normal human
syndrome," and it makes us all inadequate on our own. But, I want that one
person to know that we never have to be on our own. God is for us, God is with
us, and His family is made up of normal human beings were put here to be
together in their normalness.
So,
Normal, I'm honored you're reading this book, and I'm so glad you are part of
this family.
Genuinely
Sincere,
-A
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