I find myself not wanting to talk to any one this morning. I considered texting a friend and asking if they'd run errands with me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I feel so many bad influences in my life right now, pulling at me from every direction. All I really want to do is sit at the feet of my Heavenly Father, drinking a cup of tea and bask in the goodness of His presence. He's the only one I wanna talk to, so I start a text to Him instead, and my mind wanders a bit.
I begin to think about how my room is kind of clean, and how the rest of my apartment needs cleaned. My friend, Katie, who stayed with me this week pointed out to me that my dishes need done because they're starting to stink. As I thought about that, I realized that's what my life feels like right now, a ginormous pile of dirty dishes, stacking up, stinking with the stench of all the crusties that were once identifiable as food, now only hard, nasty, unidentifiable atrocities. I realize that this could be a perfect analogy, so i decided to share it with you.
Lately life has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and it's found it's way into my heart as well. Nothing is as it should be. Life is swirling around me like a whirlpool of dirty dish water, and I am trying to stay afloat on a slippery bar of soap. Needless to say, I keep falling off. As I swirl around I keep bumping into pots and pans covered in grease and scraping over food remnants on plates and in bowls. It's disgusting and it's painful.
Now, I know how to swim. I know to read my bible, say my prayers, talk to godly men and women in my life, but there comes a point where the nasty swirling waters become too much and trying to swim becomes futile. I'm in pain because I'm scraped up from the remnants of lost friendships, and jealousy that has become a 3D stain in my life. I try to find a flotation device using chunks of squishy old food particles like bread crusts of affection. But they soon dissolve, crumbling away in this water and I am drowning once more, choking on soggy crumb water that was once my life raft.
I'm way past the point where just swimming will suffice. I'm in the very midst of the whirl-y part of the whirl pool and I can hear the growl of the garbage disposal, louder and more excited as I ever draw near. I'm done for. I'm finished and I know it. But I'm not ready to give up yet. I know I have more to live for. This isn't the way I'm supposed to go! I'm MEANT FOR MORE than this! But, I've come so close to completely losing hope and on my own I don't know what to do.
But as the gap closes between me and the garbage disposals cruel teeth, it suddenly goes quiet. I don't often enjoy the quiet, but there was such peace in this silence. I realize that someone has turned it off. I open my eyes that I didn't realized had been squeezed tightly shut. It hurts, so I squint, but the light has been turned on above me and I hear movement. I know someone is on the way to pull me from this ugliness. The nasty water still sways and swirls around me, but I am able to stay afloat. I know my rescuer will come, I know He's on His way.
He will never leave you to your death. He will not let you go. We make choices, and get ourselves in those crappy situations, but He never, never, never lets us go if we cry out for help. Never. It may take until the last second for Him to pull you out, or it may be the first second. It often simply depends on what He needs you to learn through the situation, and/or how willing your heart is to be rescued. But we have a Rescuer, and His first priority is His love, and YOU, my friends, are His first love. So never lose hope. With God as author, and main character of this story, you are His 'Damsel in Distress' and He is always willing and prepared to rescue you, not a moment too soon, and definitely never a moment too late. It's His promise. Never. Lose. Hope.
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