Lonely (On Being Far From God)

Spiraling into a swirling abyss of confusion and lonlieness.

Is it my own doing? Why do I feel so far?

I don't know if I want to be close either.

The fire of love and friendship is warm,

but I have been easily burned.

I want to feel that warm embrace

I want to feel embraced.

But I dont

And I'm not

I'm crying tears MY hands alone can brush away.

I want to hear the calming words of someone not myself

I want to hear a gentle voice.

I want to see a genuine smile that is not my own reflection,

I want to see a loving face.

I want to feel safe, completely enveloped and held,

I want to feel familiar arms.

I don't wanna cry, but I want a release.

I'm trapped. Dam it.

Dam my eyes, lock in the tears.

Brave face on, smile intact.

Does anyone see past it? Do they see the raging torrent of water crashing against,

One blow from caving in

One blow.

But it never comes. So we stay here.

Getting nowhere. Feeling nothing.

Nothing gets past, no damage done.

Yet.

Yet.

Yet.