So, there's this man in my life. I would do just about anything for him. I have spent almost every moment of every day for the past 9 months trying to get to know him better, trying to make my relationship with him better, trying to be a better me for him. Just being around him makes me take one more step toward being the person I want to be. Being loved by him has helped shape me into someone who is more patient, kind, calm, driven, serving, self-less. I have learned to trust more because he has been dependable. I have worked through more of my issues, and made more progress on this book because of him. Just by being in relationship with him. Just by pursuing him. Because he is someone I desire to be like. He is a servant. He is loving. He is passionate, driven, motivated, encouraging. He is trustworthy, dedicated, hardworking, fun, outgoing, caring. He is so many things that I myself long to become. So I was drawn to him, and continue to be drawn to him.
There was very little I wanted as much as I wanted him. Not just to be with him, not just to laugh with him, or have him serve me or help me, but I just wanted him.
And, as I thought about him, pursued and continue to pursue relationship with him, I become more of who I want to be, more of who I was created to be. He did not force me to do this. He did not make me change or adjust. He asked gently, kindly for a few specific changes (like not slamming things and yelling at him…fair to ask, right? Yup. I thought so!). However, he did not put terms or conditions on loving me only if I was 'good enough.' He did not shun me when I messed up (frequently.) It was not his wrath, or his demands that made me change. It was simply who he was, and my pursuit of him, of his person, and being in his presence that made me better. The more I focused on him, the more I was affected, molded into a more beautiful person.
And if we are to become our best selves we must see it is not in our doing or not doing that we develop greater, more beautiful character. We do not follow a 6 step program to become better, it won't work. We cannot simply follow the rules or force ourselves into submission. It. Wont. Work. I think at one point or another we all try it. I've tried it. For years I tried it, and even after realizing, knowing it would not work, I continued to try it because I didn't GET IT. I didn't get what the answer was. I didn't see it clearly, and I didn't care enough to trust it and apply it. But now I do. Now I see. The answer to being better, to being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, self-controlled is not in the ten commandments, but in the two. "Love God and love your neighbor."It is in loving God enough to pursue Him. Not to haphazardly flirt with Him, but to make Him the object of your affection, the aim of your eyes, the pursuit of your heart. Running after Him as if nothing else in this world matters--because it doesn't.
You see, HE ran after us with everything He had. He sent everything He had after us. He pursued us, died for us, and continued to seek us, even in the wake of our repeated betrayals, spiteful anger, and continuous denial of Him. He. Kept. Coming. After. Us. After us. Not just our obedience. Not our servitude. Not our brains. Not our beauty. He was coming after US. Because for some unseen reason, He sees us, and even more DEEMS US worthy of His affection, His gifts, His love, and His life, death, and the rest of His life. He gave us everything willing to keep at it, in spite of anything we throw at Him. No matter how often we turn away, He will always come after us, always be waiting to embrace us, filth and all.
We don't have to clean up first, because, you see, He is the water. Stepping into His Spirit, His presence, His being washes away the stains. Imagine, if you will, a young boy who spends the day playing in a pig pen. When he gets out, he is covered by the filth, the crap, the slime. But, if he chooses to step into the river, he cannot stay that way. The 'dirty' washes away. The water cleanses just by being water.
The Water is not intimidated by the layers of caked on excrement. The Water will wrap around the boy, embracing every part. Cleaning even the dirtiest and the hidden parts, if the boy will remain in the Water long enough. Though the Water is always there, the boy must choose to come to, and remain, to stay in the Water continuously.
The Water is Christ, the Living Water. And if we set our sights on Him, pursuing Him, remaining in His presence and in His will, the grime and waste of this life, cannot stick to us. It all falls away in the power of His glory, His love, His beauty. It all falls away. It's all washed away. But it's up to us to want it more, to seek it more, to remain more. It's the only way. The rules don't work. Our own power doesn't work. Wash cloths and bandaids don't work. We need a full and continuous soak. Then, and only then, will it work, will we be able to expose our true, cleanest, and most beautiful selves. Only in the light of His power, light and presence. Only in Him. Only in Him.
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